Do you ever feel like you’re living your life in limbo? Like you aren’t happy or really even content with who or where you are, like you’re living in a constant state of being on-edge? That’s how I sorta feel right now. Don’t misunderstand, I love my family and my friends, the problem is not with them/you. I just feel like I’m living for when I graduate. I don’t want to go back to school, my job drives me crazy sometimes, and I still really want a dog. And I want my own place/a fresh start.

Now I’ve always been a believer that when you want your life to change, you just gotta get out and do it. You want to be thinner? Exercise and eat better. You want to be smarter? Read a book once in a while instead of rotting in front of the Boob Tube. I’m not the poster child for efficiency or even following my own “firm beliefs” (like the one above) but I do really feel like if your life isn’t where you want it to be, you *usually* have the power to change at least some part of it. But this? Where I want my life to be? I can’t get there yet. I have one more year of limbo before I can move/live/be on my own.

I’m trying hard to consciously decide to be content, but this sucker’s hard to do! I have all these dreams in my head of how I want my life to be (lovely apartment and adorable dog at the top of the list), and I can’t get there until I graduate/get a job. The unpleasant things make the pleasing things more enjoyable, but I wish that I didn’t feel so cooped up and stir-crazy. It helps a lot when I get to see my friends/family (had an AMAZING fourth of July), but when I’m alone I think too much.

Oh well. How long is a year, really? I’ve made it through (in four days) 21 years of life, I can make it through one more (God willing).