I’m Janet, Heather’s roomie/best friend/author of quesadanga Monday excitement (on hiatus until fall semester begins)

Okay, so I’m 20 years old and in my two decades of living, I have been fortunate enough to experience that life-altering thing known affectionately as “being in love.” Now, I am serious about this. Please don’t allow my lack of time on this earth to fool you into thinking that I can not possibly know the reality of deeply loving another person in a romantic way.

On Tuesday, February 1, 2005, I met a boy that became known as my first love, my first serious relationship. Our official date of starting our relationship was July 1, 2005, after a four and a half month hiatus of our friendship. Why we went to a formal function two weeks after we met, then stopped talking until July is a whole other post in itself. For almost a year and a half I was completely under the influence of cupid’s spell. I was self-absorbed, starry-eyed, saw the world through rose-colored lenses, and every other sentence started with “my boyfriend(!)” Between 7/1/05 and 10/24/06 I was known as the future Mrs. (name withheld, let’s just say it rhymes with pain). During this time I felt like I could conquer the world. I had a whole plan in my head and heart about how my life with this boy was going to be, and all I ever heard from anyone who knew us was, “Y’all are so perfect. Invite me to the wedding.” It seemed for SO many reasons that THIS was THE relationship that God himself sent down from heaven, delivered specially to me by angels. (Now I see those angels must have had a rather dry sense of humor, but I’m still very much a believer regardless.)

Moving on, I’ve noticed other couples who are in love and how they handle that complete inundation of emotion that comes along with saying and meaning those three little words. Some are very mature about their relationship, showing affection when appropriate and keeping the giddy gushing at an acceptable level. Then there’s those other couples, mostly the girls, who are so incredibly wrapped up in their significant other that they seem defined by said other. I’m not saying being in love turns all girls into crazy beings with a perma-smile and a glow that comes only with the complete insanity of being in love, but I AM saying girls can become very outspoken about their relationship. I see this happening to an acquaintance of mine and I can’t help but think, “oh, gosh. she’s turning into me. I was that girl up until about 7 months ago.” When all of her AIM away messages and social networking website pictures are centered around her boyfriend, I shudder at the memory of the days when I did the same.

Am I embarassed for her? A little.
Do I hope she realizes how wrapped up she is so she doesn’t completely lose herself? Absolutely.
Would I go back to the days when I was 19, 20, and in love? No.
Am I grateful for the love I shared with Mr. Pain? Definitely…and let me say why.

After falling into and out of love, I’ve gained a deeper understanding of myself and of people. For a year and a half I was respected by a person whom I respected in return. We kept promises to each other that I am happy to have kept. I have no regrets from this relationship and because of the way he treated me, he has spoiled me. In some very important ways he left some rather large shoes to fill, meaning that whoever’s been on deck while Mr. Pain was at bat will really have to step up. In the past seven months I’ve had crushes on other guys, even kissed a couple of them, but none have come close to hitting a home run with my heart.

I’m still very much in the game, though. I say all the time that I’m done, that I’m going to get my Ph.D. then go be a nun and fulfill my Catholic duties to the max. Deep down, though, I know someone is bound to come along, when God sends him onto the field. In my next inning in love, though, I see myself as a little more mature about things because I now have a true experience in love, which I will bring into my next relationship. I know I’ll tell my friends about all the little things he does, keep my parents and my brother filled in about every little detail, and I will get back that special “I’m in love” glow. In contrast with my first experience with being in love, though, I will keep in mind that I am a unique person. I’ll remember to take time for myself and for other equally important relationships in my life. I’ll start less sentences with “my boyfriend(!!!)” and a few more with “so tell me about yourself.” Next time I fall in love, it won’t be so extreme, but it will be special nontheless.

And if I do get way too involved, somebody, please tell me to change my away message and let me know that not everyone cares to see pictures of every dozen roses the boy gives me.